13 abril 2010




You're on earth.
There's no cure for that. 

-

08 abril 2010

The Mother

The girl wrote a story. "But how much better it would be if you wrote a novel," said her mother. The girl built a doll house. "But how much better if it was a real house," her mother said. The girl made a small pillow for her father. "but wouldn't a quilt be more pratical," said her mother. The girl dug a small hole in the garden. "But how much better if you dug a large hole," said her mother. The girl dug a large hole and went to sleep in it. "But how much better if you slept forever," said her mother.

Lydia Davis

01 abril 2010



Sombras no quarto em Torres Novas, onde vivi com uma cama, uma mesa de cabeceira cheia de papeis assoados, o livro e o lápis e um candeeiro pequeno, que se fundiu, um armário daqueles que havia nos quartos de amigos meus quando eramos putos, de pinho envernizado, do tamanho de uma parede, com tudo incorporado, roupeiro, prateleiras, gavetas e uma escrivaninha de abrir, tudo vazio,  excepto pelos bonecos e as fotos, roupa no máximo para 3 dias e mal escolhida, espalhada no chão e numa cadeira.  Acho que foi um ano, não contei, em que vivi com a mulher dos gatos, que não os tem.

17 março 2010

03 março 2010


Bruce Nauman - Slow Angle Walk (Beckett Walk), 1968

I lay down in the shadow. I don´t think i can forever lay down in shadow. or in the light. That would be my death.
I wish that not having anything to say was not a trigger for paralyzing anxiety.
I wish i could look hard enough and that the tears would make me see this shit in a new magnifying perspective.
I wish i could say something strong, smart, beautiful, complete, new. To you, that do not ask and that i do love.
Truth is i am slowly welcoming my anesthesiologist.
Truth is i'll problably destroy something in the way.
Truth is i regret.

Truth is i am afraid of boring you.

25 fevereiro 2010


Crystallography







Nunca acendia as luzes de casa para que não aparecesse o fantasma entre ela e as coisas lá fora.

23 fevereiro 2010



sm (ár al'ikshîr) 1 Preparação líquida hidralcoólica, açucarada ou glicerinada, destinada a uso oral e contendo substâncias aromáticas e medicamentosas. 2 Bebida deliciosa. 3 Vinho muito puro, balsâmico e confortativo. 4 Aquilo que há de melhor. 5 Bebida que possui virtudes mágicas. 6 Substância a que se atribuía o poder de transformar metais em ouro ou de proporcionar vida longa ou mesmo eterna. 7 tintura de ópio canforado, que se emprega como calmante de dores intestinais.
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15 fevereiro 2010

já tirava o cobertor de cima

11 fevereiro 2010

Borrowed smiles, photography is a sad art

Dear Dad,

I'm puting this in a letter because phone calls have a way of disappearing in whatever it is. I'm trying to put into words what i feel most deeply, not just about you, but about my work and the years of indefinable father and son between us. I've never understood why i've saved the best that's in me for strangers like Stravinsky and not for my own father.
There was a picture of you on the piano that i saw every day when i was growing up. It was by the Bachrach studio and heavily retouched and we all used to call it "Smillin' Jack Avedon" - it was a family joke, because it was a photograph of a man we never saw, and of a man i never knew. Years later, Bachrach did an advertisement with me - Richard Avedon, Photographer - as a subject. Their photograph of me was the same as the photograph of you. We were up at the same piano, where neither of us had ever lived.
I am trying to do something else. When you pose for a photograph, it's behind a simle that isn't yours. You are angry and hungry and alive. What i value in you is that intensity. I want to make portraits as intense as people. I want your intensity to pass into me, go through the camera and become a recognition to a stranger. I love your ambition and your capacity for disappointment, and that is still as alive in you as it has ever been.
Do you remember you tried to show me how to ride a bicycle, when i was nine years old? You had come up to New Hampshire for the weekend, i think, in the summer when we were on vacation, and you were wearing your business suit. You were showing me how to ride a bike, and you fell and i saw your face then. I remember the expression on your face when you fell. I had my box Brownie with me, and i took the picture.
I'm not making myself clear. Do you understand?
                    
Love, Dick

09 fevereiro 2010

03 fevereiro 2010






Ontem comecei com o corpo em guerra, fortaleza, o som a bater-me, o estômago às voltas, o ar a faltar. Por minutos tirei os tampões dos ouvidos e ouvi. Respirei fundo e prolongadamente. Tudo tremeu e eu.
Descemos poços, escondemo-nos na gruta, perdemos peso, bradámos aos ceús, estivemos num lugar autónomo e plano. Não sei quanto tempo passou mas teria ficado ali muito, mas mesmo muito, mais.

25 janeiro 2010







O Jandek é uma pessoa a tentar tocar o que lhe vai na alma. Às vezes macio, umas insuportável, outras genial. Desde os anos 70 e sem ninguém saber exactamente quem é, além do Jandek. Edita os discos, faz as capas, auto-retratos a envelhecer, a guitarra, a sala, a rua, vende-os por correio, não sabemos o nome do cidadão e pouco me importa. É cru e pode fazer desviar ouvidos, por pudor. Parece falar sobre o que lhe aconteceu, no sofá ou em frente ao espelho.
Voltou a tocar ao vivo, depois de um intervalo de muitos anos. Graças aos FilhoÚnico já tinha vindo ao Porto e este sábado a Lisboa. Queria muito ouvi-lo mas comprei o bilhete à última da hora porque sabia que ia tocar com músicos portugueses associados aos meios mais experimentalistas, e tinha uma premonição, porque já vi uma data de concertos destes gajos, de que ia ser apenas mais um. Nada de especial. Um sax, um trompete, um piano e o Jandek, com a guitarra desafinada e a voz a embalar. A escolha, não sei de quem, soou-me a necessidade de contextualizar o Jandek e assim torná-lo digerível. Uma espécie de diz-me com quem tocas dir-te-ei quem és. é pena.
Gostava de ter mergulhado na água escura. E saí a meio, desiludida, com o Cobain a ressoar na cabeça: "(Jandek) is not pretentious, but his public is"




13 janeiro 2010





Only Siths talk in absolutes
Obi-Wan Kenobi

11 janeiro 2010

04 janeiro 2010

30 dezembro 2009


.no tempo atribulado, não fechar os olhos.


22 dezembro 2009

texel architecture










18 dezembro 2009



Tainted Heaven




Uma é árvore dos desejos. Saem dos bolsos, brancos, e atam-se aos troncos.  
São as mulheres quem mais dá nós.

Capadócia - Nov 2009

17 dezembro 2009

01 dezembro 2009

08 novembro 2009



here realbirds bones
made of holy red wood
will sound for J
today

06 novembro 2009






oficina sobre a descoberta, o comércio e o segredo das plantas, durante os descobrimentos
 coberta de chocolate  está a europa.

04 novembro 2009

20 outubro 2009



Sentados no cais, em cima de uma pedra ao sol, à sombra de um cargueiro:


Muriel - In a world of growth, the moment of choice may come as long as there is life. There is process: man can change and he can go on changing; at any moment he can do the work of recreation on himself, and purify his consciouness. The offer of perfection or death is one sign of impoverishment in the artist.


Samuel - The fact is, it seems, that the most you can hope is to be little less, in the end, the creature you were in the beginning, and the middle.

06 outubro 2009



i hope you don't mind i've been eating your fruit drops. they left a colourful trace in the dust.

20 setembro 2009






Uma ilha chamada ________ flutua no mar, feita inteiramente de coral. Não é coral natural, mas uma mutação biogenética de coral que produz o seu próprio oxigénio, uma bolha de oxigénio que torna possível a autosustentação da ilha. Nesta ilha não existe controlo, nem contrato social, nada. És livre de fazer o que quiseres. Mas no final da juventude, és convidado a ir para dentro de um buraco, no centro de ________ e atravessar o coral. Tens que descer 200 metros até à parte de baixo da ilha para sentires directamente, fisicamente, fenomelogicamente, a fragilidade do seu sistema. Finalmente, quando regressas, a continuidade desta existência baseia-se na consciência dessa fragilidade.

Nota a - 2005 ( história que me contou um australiano do qual não me lembro )

18 setembro 2009

Choosing Unknown Future Promises from a Present Singular Point


...Much light may be thrown on some of these questions by consideration of stability and instability. When the state of things is such that an infinitely small variation of the present state will alter only by an infinitely small quantity the state at some future rime, the condition of the system, whether it is at rest or in motion, is said to be stable; but when an infinitely small variation in the present state may bring about a finite difference in the state of the system in a finite time, the condition of the system is said to be unstable. It is manifest that the existence of unstable conditions renders impossible the prediction of future events, if our knowledge of the present state is only approximate and not accurate.. It has been well pointed out by Professor Balfour Stewart that physical stability is the characteristic of those systems from the contemplation of which determinists draw their arguments, and physical instability that of those living bodies, and moral instability that of those developable souls, which furnish to consciousness the conviction of free will. Having thus pointed out some of the relations of physical science to the question, we are the better prepared to inquire what is meant by determination and what by free will. No one, I suppose, would assign to free will a more than infinitesimal range. No leopard can change his spots, nor can any one by merely wishing it, or, as some say, willing it, introduce discontinuity into his course of existence. Our free will at the best is like that of Lucretius's atoms,---which at quite uncertain times and places deviate in an uncertain manner from their course. In the course of this our moral life we more or less frequently find ourselves on a physical or moral watershed, where an imperceptible deviation is sufficient to determine into which of two valleys we shall descend. The doctrine of free will asserts that in some such cases the Ego alone is the determining cause. The doctrine of Determinism asserts that in every case, without exception, the result is determined by the previous conditions of the subject, whether bodily or mental, and that Ego is mistaken in supposing himself in any way the cause of the actual result, as both what he is pleased to call decisions and the resultant action are corresponding events due to the same fixed laws... The subject of the essay is the relation to determinism, not of theology, metaphysics, or mathematics, but of physical science,---the science which depends for its material on the observation and measurement of visible things, but which aims at the development of doctrines whose consistency with each other shall be apparent to our reason... For example, the rock loosed by frost and balanced on a singular point of the mountain-side, the little spark which kindles the great forest, the little word which sets the world a fighting, the little scruple which prevents a man from doing his will, the little spore which blights all the potatoes, the little gemmule which makes us philosophers or idiots. Every existence above a certain rank has its singular points: the higher the rank the more of them. At these points, influences whose physical magnitude is too small to be taken account of by a finite being, may produce results of the greatest importance. All great results produced by human endeavor depend on taking advantage of these singular states when they occur.
    There is a tide in the affairs of men
    Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.
The man of tact says "the right word at the right time," and, "a word spoken in due season how good is it!" The man of no tact is like vinegar upon nitre when he sings his songs to a heavy heart. The ill-timed admonition hardens the heart, and the good resolution, taken when it is sure to be broken, becomes macadamised into pavement for the abyss. It appears then that in our own nature there are more singular points,---where prediction, except from absolutely perfect data, and guided by the omniscience of contingency, becomes impossible,---than there are in any lower organisation. But singular points are by their very nature isolated, and form no appreciable fraction of the continuous course of our existence. Hence predictions of human conduct may be made in many cases. First, with respect to those who have no character at all, especially when considered in crowds, after the statistical method. Second with respect to individuals of confirmed character, with respect to actions of the kind for which their character is confirmed. If, therefore, those cultivators of physical science from whom the intelligent public deduce their conception of the physicist, and whose style is recognised marking with a scientific stamp the doctrines they promulgate, are led in pursuit of the arcana of science to the study of the singularities and instabilities, rather than the continuities and stabilities of things, the promotion of natural knowledge may tend to remove that prejudice in favour of determinism which seems to arise from assuming that the physical science of the future is a mere magnified image of that of the past.


James Clerk Maxwell

17 setembro 2009

16 setembro 2009

15 setembro 2009

14 setembro 2009







M.Moniz 

Atrás do centro comercial, um dos muito velhos nunca sintoniza completamente o rádio que está sempre a ouvir. Quando fala, também não.

04 setembro 2009



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Christiania, Kobenhavn

03 setembro 2009



Daily violins

02 setembro 2009



PINÓQUIO



Hey, buy me a postcard...
What is it? Olhou para cima, pegou num cilindro de madeira, equilibrou-o no nariz e soprou numa harmónica aleatoriamente. A performance durou uns 10 segundos, antes da madeira cair-lhe na mão. Olhei para o postal e dei-lhe o euro. Na imagem reconheci o Sarphati Park. Ri-me da madeira equilibrada no nariz, virtualmente para sempre.

24 agosto 2009


whole days



pics by familee at Bölmso, Sweden

02 agosto 2009

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espaço com resistências